Title : Things Will Get Better
Pairing : Wonkyu
Disclaimer : All casts are belong to their self and God, AGNEZMO and her label company
Inspired : A song ‘Things Will Get Better’ by AGNEZMO
Warning : Un-betaed a.k.a. Typos, GS, AU, Attempt Romance, OOC
( 。・_・。)人(。・_・。 )
I’m the one that’s always been here
Even thru the darkest nights
And brave the tide for you
I looked and scan one by one the bills in the kitchen counter and one thing that swarm in my mind that my boyfriend clearly needs help. I know my boyfriend are in quite a situation, regarding his business that going down fall and his older brother who had been arrested because of illegal drug possession, but this unpaid bills is just too much.
How come my boyfriend, Choi Siwon, had a half a million debt and he never told me?! Is it because he couldn’t repay the last help I gave him? I don’t think it’s an excuse for him to keep silent about this matter. I know he’s could be such an obstinate person but I never figured out that he this bad.
I sighed deeply and immediately gather and fold the bills neatly before I put them back in a tin can where Siwon always keeps them. I put it back carefully in the same place I take them and hoping that he won’t see me in my action. I don’t want him to get angry at him for snooping around in his business like this. The last time he got angry with me, he gave me the silent treatment which I couldn’t endure because I love him too much as not to talk with him for one second.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. The usual coffee you like is running out at the store. I brought you bubble tea instead. I hope you won…” I curse at my stupidity from not done keeping Siwon’s bills right on time. He caught me red-handed. Again.
“What are you doing?” He asked me cautiously though he never had to figure out what exactly am I doing just now. I stand up and turn around, facing him with guilt and scared expression written all over my face.
“Cho Kyuhyun, I asked you a question. What are you doing?” Siwon asked me again but this time I could sense his annoyance of what I just did.
“Siwon… I…” I could not utter anything from my mouth. My lips feel like it’s been stitch really tight because I’m too anxious about what Siwon’s going to do.
“Did you just snooping around again on my stuff?!” Siwon stated rather that asked me. Oh my God, he’s really angry. I clutch my own hands to prevent myself from crying although I feel like one. His hard expression gave me the chills and I’m truly scared but I don’t want to cry just to escape myself from this one. I know I’m at fault.
“I’m… I’m sorry Wonnie, but I’m worried about you. You’ve been so busy lately and I’m finding myself so hard to just haave some time with you. I miss you and not being with you, kills me.” I tried to reason out with Siwon. It’s true; I’ve been had so much difficulties just to meet my own boyfriend lately.
I understand that Siwon had so much in his hand in the past one and half year, but we could still meet each other regularly. Yet, since two weeks ago when we found out his brother older been arrested, Siwon like a ghost. I could sense him but I could never hold and see him so often. I feel that he’s avoiding me for some reason and now I know why.
“You know perfectly well the reason why I’m been so busy lately Kyu. I’m trying my hardest to get back on track with the problems that seems to come and gone all the way in my life right now, not to mention my hyungs trouble. He needs my help and I could never abandon him though he’s that sick for dealing with that nasty stuff.” Explain Siwon while griping his hands so strongly, making his knuckle clench and whitening because of the force he put into it.
I take a few step closer and take his hands and unfolded them. He could injure them with that force. I hold his hand and kiss the back of his hand gently, hoping that he could feel much better. He looked a bit calmer and then he closes the gap between us with brought our forehead together. He takes back his hand and clasp it on my checks.
“I’m sorry baby, if I rarely give you my attention but I’m trying Kyu. I’m trying to make everything work out. Baby, I’m always be there if you need me. All I’m asking for you is just that you’ll understand my situation, right now I can’t be as attentive as I used to be. You promise me once that you’ll understand. You promise baby. Are you forgetting about them?”
“No, I’m not Wonnie. I never forget them but when I figured it out that your problems are just too much for you to handle, I get so agonize. I want to help you.” As soon as I said that, Siwon let go his hold on my face. He take a two steps back and stare at me with such sadden eyes.
“By snooping around on my stuff. I don’t need your help Kyu, not anymore. You’ve done so much already. I can take care of this all on my own now.”
“Why are you so stubborn?! I could help you. I could borrow you some money, or… or my daddy could give you some project or even a fix job, or…”
“STOP! Just… Stop it…” Siwon yells really loud and it made me halt my sentence. Siwon never yell at me like that. He’s always this gentle and sweet guy. Even when he’s mad or annoyed with me, He just gave me a disapprove look, or a silent treatment, or even just reprimanded me to behave, but not this, not this hard and ready to snap guy.
Siwon also surprise that he could just snap like that in front of me. He close his eyes for a few second before he open his eyes and lower his head. I get very nervous and scared again in the same time. Why Siwon looked like he’s about to leave me.
“Wonnie?” I tried to call him to get his attention but all his ever do is take the bubble tea he puts on the kitchen counter and keep it in the fringe not far from us. He then take his motorcycles keys and turn around. My God, is Siwon really leaving?!
“Wonnie?!” I tried again to call him but he just stop his walk but never turns around to face me.
“Stay here. I’ll take you home afterward. I need to cool down my head.” He said and took off after that.
Seeing Siwon like that made the tears I hold back stroll down without my permission. I watch Siwon’s back with guilt and sorrow in my heart. I know that I’ve just hurt his feeling, hurts his pride. Kyuhyun, you dolt! Why you saying something like that?! Some girlfriend you are!!
I sit down rather dejectedly with tears still roll down continuously. I hide my wet face in my two hands, crying to ease the pain that I felt for making Siwon hurt like that. I really am an idiot for saying something so out of question. It’s just that, I want to help Siwon. I really just want to help him. I want always beside him in good and bad times. Why can’t Siwon see that? We supposed to be face it together but why he keeps on handling it himself. Why Wonnie?!
All I ever needed was you
You never have the worry at all
What happen to us
What happen to love
I looked at the watch in my hand and it told me that it’s already past midnight. I stay up here, in the kitchen just like Siwon had told me. I don’t have the strength to walk to the living room and wait him there. I’m already exhausted because of the non-stop crying a few hours ago, not to mention the drown feeling I had because our fight earlier.
Waiting for Siwon to return made me thinking to myself. I understand that he needs to overcome this alone. This is his way to show me and the rest of the world that he capable to be the responsible man that he is. However, I have made my own decision. I love him and when you love someone, you tend to worry and want to help them. You tend to ignore everything just to make sure your loves one is safe, well, and happy; and that’s what I’m going to do. I don’t care if Siwon is going to get angry or kills me if I help, I will do it. I will help him in every way I can as to also try to make him less burdened by my help.
I don’t care about anything else because the only thing I care about is Siwon. He’s all I ever needed and I’m sure that I’m also the one who he’s ever needed. That’s why he’s been worked so hard just to impress my parents that recently looked down on him because of his degrading matter. He want to show everyone that he’s worthy for me, that’s he’s a capable man for me, that’s I won’t have to worry in the future because Siwon will always going to support me, protect me, love me.
That’s also the same reason why I have to make him believe that our love is strong. I will also by his side and he never have to worry about the world because I’m here, for him.
A mirrors now would’ve been so clear
Every shadow like a broken glass
Can we mend the past with me
Maybe I should face the truth
I need you to be what I know you can be
Don’t give up on us
Don’t give up on love
I heard the front door open when the clock shows it’s already dawn. I mumbled incoherent, seems like made sure that the one who is entering this apartment is indeed Siwon. I lift up my head which nested uncomfortable in my arms on the kitchen counter. I didn’t realize that I’ve fallen asleep while waiting for Siwon.
“Siwonnie…?” I called again and this time firmer than before. I heard mild steps walkig to the kitchen and a voice that I recognize everywhere I heard them talk to me.
“Yes baby, it’s me. Did I wake you up?” I heard Siwon answer me. I smiled when I see Siwon face. He looked so much better than when he storm out his own apartment. I stand up slowly and walked to him; slowly I reach out my arms for him and he takes it. He puts his strong arms around my waist and I circle his broad shoulders until my hands reach behind his neckline hair. I stroke his hair, pouring my love and also repentant.
Siwon reply me with nuzzle along my collarbone up to my neck and ended with a soft kiss in my temple. Siwon hands crawl up to my back and brush it softly then push it so my body came closer to his chest while his lips change its position to my forehead, my two eyes, my nose, my two checks and lastly my lips.
We kissed each other without adding any vigor in it. Just a simple kiss to share our affection toward each other, to said without a single word that we are belong together and every shadows that will always tried to separate us with vanish if we fight it alongside to one another.
That kiss is also the reason for me to give me strength my will to stand beside Siwon and to help him faced all this setbacks of his. The kiss that made me realize about the truth of every single men can be strong if their loves one believe in them. I want to help him but I also believe that Siwon also could take care of his own. I just need to trust him that he could change to the Siwon I knew all this time. The Choi Siwon who will doesn’t give on us, the Choi Siwon who doesn’t give on love. I believe that because that’s what I going to do to him also.
Every step seems just a lil better
Lil mistakes don’t really seem to matter
I want that going ok
As long as I got you, and you got me
I’ve been saying to myself be stronger
Like work it out; its gonna take a lil bit longer
As long as I got you, you got me, you say
Things will get better
We sit on the sofa in the living room, watching any show on the television even though we didn’t pay any attention to any of it. We embrace, with Siwon back-hug me and put his head in my shoulder, while I lean my head a little bit to give him some space to nuzzle my neck once again and puts my hand on top of Siwon’s hands and caress it gently with my fingers.
Once in a while, Siwon put butterfly kisses on my neck and cheek, making me giggled because of the soft touch. When he do that, I too turn my face a little and kiss the tip of his nose and then we chuckle together.
We already settle our fight without talking about it. We agree on our heart that the fight was just a little stumble in our relationship because both of us were too obstinate to ourselves instead try to understand the situation our other half.
“Baby.” Our moment interrupted with Siwon calling me.
“Forgive me.” I stare at him with clueless eyes. I don’t know what his apologize to me about. If someone have to say sorry, that someone it’s me. So why did Siwon said that?
“For what Wonnie?”
“For snapping at you earlier. I didn’t mean to do that baby. Please forgive me.” I smiled when I heard his sentence. I lift one of my hands and brush his cheek gently.
“There’s nothing to forgive Wonnie. I know you didn’t mean that. It’s my fault actually. I’m too selfish and didn’t see that you already have so much things going in your head. I’m just making things hard for you.”
“No baby, that’s not true. I know that you just worried about me. I appreciate your concern honey but I…”
“You can take care of yourself. I know honey and I’m willing to understand. I just asked one thing for you Wonnie.”
“What is that?”
“If you couldn’t take this burden all by yourself, please share it with me. Even if you thought no one is there for you, just remember that I’m here. As long as you got me and I got you, things will be okay. I’ll be there for you every time you need me and I know you’ll also do the same for me. So, can you promise me that?”
“Yes baby. I could do that.” Siwon said while giving me smile that I always adore since the beginning. We resume our lovely moment together until once more Siwon voice it out something.
“I love you.” I smile when he said that. Those three little words are the ones I want to hear from him. Since the terrible news og his brother, Siwon rarely said something like to me. I miss his gentle voice when he said ‘I love you’.
Tears are welling up in my eyes. I let it down because they are happy tears. My hold on Siwon’s hands is getting tighter to let him know that I’m very happy.
“I love you too Wonnie. I love you.” I said to him with sincerity, hoping Siwon would hear it and feel it with his heart.
In the end, Siwon and I realize that every mistake, every fault, every hurtful words, were just a simple way for us to get closer to each other. We needs to see every flaws in ourselves so we could fix it and complete the loop-hole together because as long we got each other, nothing will be difficult for us. We just have to depend on our trust and our love. I know that as long as I got Siwon and Siwon got me. Thing will get better. Yes, things will get better.
Things will get better