Title : Him – Sequel I’m Not Perfect & When You’re Not Beside Me
Pairing : Wonkyu
Disclaimer : All casts are belong to their self and God
Inspired : An Indonesian Song, Dia by Sammy Simorangkir
Warning : Un-betaed, full of typos, BL, AU, OOC
Summary : It’s him. It will always be him. No one else.
( 。・_・。)人(。・_・。 )
It’s a nice weather to go out with your friends, family, or your lovers. But, would it be the same nice weather when you’re going with your ex? Of course it is, even more, if your ex is someone who you’re still in love with and you know or hope more likely that he’s still in love with you. It would be a good start to reunite the bond that has been crack before.
That’s what I’ve been thinking about the whole time when I’m with Kyuhyun right now. Both of us are dress nicely this evening, matching perfectly with the occasion that we’re going to attend. With every single thing planned perfectly, I determined to make this night wonderful for the both of us, especially to Kyuhyun.
As I promise before, I come to pick up Kyuhyun at 6. We went to the restaurant first for dinner. I chose Kyuhyun favorite place, a nice small garden café, so that he will be comfortable enough. Usually when we’re going out, it’s always me who choose the place. Not that Kyuhyun ever chose his own place, but like the jerk I’ve been to him, I tend to ignore his choices. Well that’s going to change. For now on, I will listen to what his going to say.
As we enter the restaurant, I took his hand to the table that I’ve reserved for this dinner. Every chance that I have, I looked at Kyuhyun. I’m very pleased to see his heartfelt smile toward at me. Probably because he thinks about the choices of place I’ve made for our dinner. I know from his expression that he astounded by my choice right now, because frankly speaking, the old me would never choose a place like this. Not that I will be in the future, but I will do it for Kyuhyun. I want to know what kind of place he likes to hang out.
That thought alone would definitely makes people sees me as the selfish kind of boyfriend that never been associates with his surroundings which somehow true but don’t get me wrong. I know Kyuhyun well enough. His habit, his character, but I’ve indeed never socialize myself with his circle while, Kyuhyun on the hand, tried so hard to fit in my circle of life and friends. Wait, I’m a selfish boyfriend. God! I really am a jerk.
“Siwon, are you sure we going to eat here?” his lovely voice that questioning me, jolt me back to reality. I look at him and give him my best smile which the result is those rose cheeks is blushing delightfully.
“I’m sure. Why? You don’t like the place or what? If so, we could go and look for other restaurant.”
“No. I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well… First, I think this place it’s without doubt not your style. Second, they’re not provided the kind of food you usually eat. So, if you want to change, we can look for same restaurant where you comfortable with.”
“You still remember that?” Oh I wish I could kiss him right now. His never ending attention to every part of my life makes my heart warmhearted. I must be a really jackass back then when I treated Kyuhyun the way I shouldn’t. Oh God, please help me get him back. I love him so much, that the thought of him not beside me is killing me.
“Um… I just thought that you… Um… Never mind. Let’s go inside. I’m starving.”
“You’re just too shy to answer my question.”
After Dinner and the Show
I couldn’t feel any happier right now. God has been very generous to me today. Every piece of my plan worked perfectly well. The dinner, the show, and now this. What is this that I’m referring to? The ‘this’ that I’m talking about is the way Kyuhyun lean forward to me right now and allowed me to sling my right arm to his shoulder to chase away the coldness of the night. Kyuhyun’s thin jacket is not well prepared for the ridiculously cold weather.
“Are you feeling any better Kyu?” I asked when I could still feel Kyuhyun shivering a bit.
“A little bit.” He answer me with a tiny smile adore his beautiful face.
“You’re still cold Kyu. That’s why you should take my coat.” I reason out to him. But Kyuhyun just shake his head and snug his body closer to me. I straight away tighten my hold on him, share my body heat more although I still try to make him take my coat.
“Don’t be stubborn Kyu. I don’t want you to get sick. Just take the coat.”
“And let you bare this cold weather and get sick instead? I don’t think so, Wonnie.”
“How sweet of you Kyu. You rather share our warm body than accept my coat. Well you’ll look at that. Cho Kyuhyun finally makes his move towards this handsome man.” I said that jokingly to set up our mood even better. However, when there is no response or what so ever from Kyuhyun I get nervous. He even stops walking. Is he uncomfortable of what I just said? Idiot! I should have known that is too fast to make any remarks of our past relationship. Stupid! Stupid Siwon! Now you’re ruining it!
“Kyu?” I tried to call his name to get his attention but he just stood there and looks ahead. There this frown came from his adorable face that makes me more nervous.
“Kyuhyun? Are you angry at me? I’m sorry. It’s just joke. I…”
“Come with me.” He said out of nowhere. Successfully cut my word on me. I looked at him with bewilderment written all over my face. I want to ask him what he is talking about when suddenly he takes my hand and pull it to abscond with him.
“Kyu? Hey, where are we going?”
“Just come with me Wonnie and you’ll see.” That answer shut me down. Although to be honest, I’m still confused where he will take me to but I realize. As long as Kyuhyun there with me, I don’t have any objection to where the hell is he going to take me. I content already when I kind of grasp that Kyuhyun hold my hand tightly. I feel so happy because I could feel his warm hand once again.
“Why are you taking me here Kyu?” I asked immediately when we arrive at a park beside Han River. There’s so many couple in here. I feel a little bit shy yet at the same time I also feel like Kyuhyun and I are the same as those couple. I feel that somehow, I’m still Kyuhyun’s boyfriend and I could act all lovey dovey with him.
I shake my head a little bit to erase those feeling. This is not the time to think about that. I will slowly but sure turn things around between us, but first I want to know why Kyuhyun take me to this place. He doesn’t give me any answer to my earlier question and I don’t remember anything related between this place and us.
“Kyu.” I call him again to draw his attention to me and simply give me some explanation but instead of giving me anything, he pull me somewhere while pointing to an area.
“Look Wonnie, there’s a spot. Right there.”
“Come on. Before someone take it.” Don’t have any choice, I follow Kyuhyun although my curiosity really annoys me to no end. Kyuhyun pull the both of us to some spot under a quite big tree. The place is kind of relaxing because only a few couple in here and we get the best view at looking to the river and also the sky.
We sit down under the tree with our back touch the tree. Kyuhyun’s hand still holds my hands even though he could let go since he didn’t need to pull me anymore. The feeling I felt before submerge once more. I really think Kyuhyun is giving me a chance to get closer to him.
We sit there for few minutes before I get restless. Damn my inquisitiveness and all. I really don’t want to disturb our moment but I couldn’t let go of this anxiety of not knowing why we are here. I don’t want to preasure Kyuhyun of anything. I know he will answer me sooner or later but damn. Curiosity is surely could kill a cat. Well, in my case, maybe a horse.
“What are we doing here Kyu? I already made plan to take you to that game store. You said that you want those new video games. I already ordered it and we’ll just have to pick it up. I think if we go now, the shop would still be open.”
“Later Wonnie. We could get that tomorrow but this; this is going to be the last chance for us to see it.” As soon as he said that, I clamped down my lips. Although the answer still fyling through the air but the fact that he’s willing to go with me again is something I couldn’t passed on and also I still mesmerized by the fact that from this morning until tonight, he looks so comfortable with me. He really is making me believe like I have a second chance with him. Oh God, if it’s like that, I will be the happiest man alive.
We back to our moment before I stir it a bit. We enjoy the river scenery even in this cold weather. I know eventually we could catch a cold if we stay like and that reason alone makes me want to do something for him. However, since Kyuhyun don’t want to take my coat and I don’t dare to hug him to share my body heat I could only hold his hand tighter. I hope this will be enough.
What I don’t expect to happen is that Kyuhyun himself release my hold on his hands, then link his arms to my left hand and put his cute head on my shoulder. I don’t know what to say or act other than think that this sweet but natural act of his really put all the doubts in my hearts. He really is giving me a second chance even without me asking to him. Kyuhyun is really something.
Slowly, I put my head on top of his head lightly. I could smell his shampoo and feel his soft hair. My other hand is innocently lay down on his hands and squeezes it gently. We resume to sit in that position for a few minutes until a loud bang startled me and Kyuhyun. That sound turn out to be a fireworks. It’s beautiful and mesmerized fireworks that highlight the dark sky.
They accompany the warm and sweet moment of Kyuhyun and I. So this is what Kyuhyun want to show me. Well, this is much better than my stupid plan. We really enjoy this show with smile plastered on our faces. It’s really make our night complete. It’s like there is nothing that could jeopardize our lovely moment. Well, until Kyuhyun call my name.
“I love you.” What?!! Did my hearing fool me? Did Kyuhyun just say he loves me? Why the sudden confession?! Argh!! I think my mind play a trick on me.
“Your hearing is fine. Yes I did. It’s not sudden and no, your mind is not playing any trick.” Damn! Did I just say my thoughts out loud?
“Yes you did actually.” Oh God! I’m really making a fool of myself.
“It’s kind of cute Wonnie, so don’t be embarrassed. I like it when you do that.” This time I really make sure I shut my mouth and not think anything else. I snap my head to looked at Kyuhyun and search for some answer, again. The time he said that, our join head is release. We looked into each other eyes but with different expression. Kyuhyun with his calm and wonderful smile, me on the hand, shock to death. I really don’t know what to believe right now. My ears or Kyuhyun’s words.
“It’s rare to see you this shock Wonnie. Maybe I should do this more often. You’re so cute. It makes me feels like you’re just an ordinary man who’s in love with this geek.” I stared at him with forlorn look in my face. I know what his intend to say to me and it’s hurts me.
“Hey, don’t make that sad face. I don’t mean anything by saying that to you.” Kyuhyun warm hand reach my cheeks and his fingers graze it tenderly. I took his hand in my cheeks and clutch it. I even have the courage to kiss the palm of his hand softly.
“I love you Siwon. Even when you tend to hurt me in every possible way, I still love you. Back then, right now and I think until I reach my time in this world. Nothing could change that.”
“So, I’m glad that you came to me, although I kind of hoping you came to me a few days after the broke up but this is still good. Thank you.” Kyuhyun take back his hand and slowly put his arms around my shoulder and hug me. Oh God, I don’t know what I do in my previous life to get this but thank you. Thank you.
Without any delay, I at once hug Kyuhyun back. I take him into my embrace, feel his warmth once again and this times not only a glimpse of it but a whole part of him. I could inhale his unique scent when I put my head on his shoulder. No words can describe how happy I am right now. This is definitely the best moment of my life.
“Is this real?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You, me. Is this all real? Are you really going to accept me once again? Is this a dream? Because if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up. Of my God, Kyu. I don’t want to wake up and have to bare to not having you in my arms.”
“It hurts baby. My heart is hurting. Every time I remember all those bad things I have done to you, I feel like I’m going to shoot myself. How could I make you walk away from me like that? You’re the best thing that has ever happen to me and I drove you away.”
“I was your boyfriend. I was supposed to take care of you, to cherish you, to accept you for who you are. I was supposed to believe in you, in us.” With that words came right out from my mouth, my tears were also spilled. I thoroughly regret the broke up and the cause of it. I really do. I keep weeping in his shoulder until Kyuhyun’s hand touch my hair and he kisses me on my temple.
“Siwon, looked at me.” He told me firmly. I lift up my head and do as he told. Kyuhyun wipe away the tears on my cheeks and kiss my eyes gently before he said something.
“Every couple do made mistake like this, Siwon. After the broke up, I have tons of time for myself. I thought about us all the time. About why we so focus on the society thinks instead of us. Why you want me to become more like you and your friends and why I want you to understand that I don’t belong in your world.” I kind of surprised with what he said but I keep silent. I know that Kyuhyun isn’t finished.
“Spending time with myself, away from you, make me understand that you did that just to protect me from your so called perfect world. You really want me to be a better person than I am right now. And I want that, I want to be a better person because I want to be with you equally. I want all of your friends, family, and everyone else, sees me as someone who is worthy to be by your side.”
“However, maybe you took it way too fast my handsome horse. I need time, I need to adjust, I need to find what it’s fit for me and what’s not, from your world. I obviously couldn’t take it all at once.” I hang down my head listening to what Kyuhyun said just now. Am I really in a rush? Am I moving too fast? I never thought like that before. I never thought that Kyuhyun would actually want to try to fit in. All I ever think of is Kyuhyun just too inattentive with him selves to even bother with my effort in making him see my world.
Oh Kyu, I’m so sorry. Why I always thought about myself. I should be more thoughtful when it come to your social skills. You are not like me. I should known that. You are the shy, reserved kind of guy. It must be difficult for you to handle a bunch of chatty and boisterous and a little arrogant people. Hhh… I am really too fast in handling things. I came to my own conclusion before seeing the whole picture.
“Hey, don’t give that look again mister. Once is okay but twice, it’s kind of making me here the bad guy.”
“Sorry Kyu, it’s just. I don’t know. I think I’ve already hurt you so much and hearing this from you, just make me feel like I’m dreadful person. I…”
“Hey, Don’t blame yourself too hard on this. Every piece of our relationship that has been broken, we could put back together and this time it will be stronger. And you know why?” I shake my head as the answer. Kyuhyun smile again. He held my face in both of his palms and stare straight into my eyes.
“It’s because you will be there for me when I need you the most. You’re going to help me out. You’re going to teach anything that I need to know about you and your life. You’re going to trust me because I know that you love me as I love you. Siwon, as long as we have each other, we will make this relationship works.”
“Oh baby…” I hold him close to me after he finished uttering every amiable word of his. How could I ever let go him in the first place? How could I ever hurt him? His heart is so pure that he’s willing to forgive me and accept just like that even before I tried to apologize to him and asked him to be my boyfriend once more. Kyuhyun. My Kyuhyun. I don’t think I deserve you but if you’re willing to be with me, this idiotic man who only could make you cry all this time, then I swore to God, I swore to God that I will make you happy and this time I will make sure that I’m going to cherish you.
After a wonderful night at the Han River, I take Kyuhyun home. It’s already midnight when we get there but I don’t have to worry about Kyuhyun’s family. Beside they already know me, they also not at home until next month. Some family tropical getaway to the southern island. All better because I can have Kyuhyun all to myself.
We stop walking when we arrived right at Kyuhyun’s front porch. He turns around to face me and give me his adorable smile. I want to kiss those lips but I know for sure that I still have so much to do to mend my entire mistake before I could get back to Kyuhyun. I have to prove myself to him that I’m a different person and I’m willing to do the same thing as him, to make myself equally worthy to be by his side.
“Thanks for tonight Wonnie. I really enjoy myself.”
“Glad that you like it Kyu.”
“Starting tomorrow, please refrain yourself from your fan girls.”
“Your my boyfriend right? It’s common sense that I don’t like any sluts dare to get closer to my man.”
“Geez, you’re so slow. I don’t even know why I could still be with you.” And with that sentence, suddenly Kyuhyun grab my collar and pull me to him. My eyes were open wide enough because the next thing, Kyuhyun’s lips were already plastered to my lips.
Did Kyuhyun just kiss me?
“Yes I did.” I said that out loud once again?! Oh great! Now I look like an idiot in front of Kyuhyun.
“Yes you are.” Really Siwon?!!
“Okay, stop this please. I’m confused right now which one is my inner voice and which is not.” Kyuhyun laugh at what I said. Oh, this is also one thing that makes me love him so much. His endearing laugh. Kyuhyun laugh until I take the initiative to approach him and put my hand around his shoulder and back. I put my head on top of his head and often I kiss his hair. Hey, he kisses me first, so it means I also could kiss him. Kyuhyun seem don’t mind if I do that in fact he also puts his hands to my waist and lean his head more to my chest. So, I might as well enjoy it. Yeah, enjoy it until Kyuhyun shift his head up a little so he could looked at me.
“You never say you love me back.”
“I didn’t?” I surprised myself when Kyuhyun told me that.
“Yes. You meanie.”
“Ahaha… Sorry baby.”
“Hmph! Said it now.” Urge Kyuhyun to make me said those three words. I laugh to myself because right now Kyuhyun is pouting at me. I kiss his nose and said what Kyuhyun want to hear from me and I long to tell him since we broke up.
“I love you. I love you so much. So freaking much that if I made the same with you baby, I would kill myself.”
“Don’t bother, I would kill you first. So beware, you dumb horse.”
“Ahaha, I will baby. I will.” We embrace each other again while enjoying the silent of the night. I could stay like this forever but unfortunately I still have one slight a bit matter that I have to confirm with Kyuhyun.
“We’re okay right?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re together again right?”
“Siwon, I already told you I love you. I already told you that I want to change for better because of you. I act as a jealous boyfriend. I even call you my boyfriend and kiss you first. What more do you want from nothing.” Kyuhyun said a little bit in a subdued manner. I smile to myself because of that. I know I’m silly, worried for no reason, but I can’t help myself feeling this way. I need to know that Kyuhyun really want to get back together with me. However, he’s right. He’s already give me tons of sign that we’re okay now and I don’t need to be afraid if this is all some kind of bad joke. Kyuhyun is here. With me in my arms. Share his warmth and love just for me.
“Yes baby. You’re right. We’re okay now. We’re together now for as long as I life. You are the most perfect boyfriend I have ever has. No one is more perfect than you are. No one baby. No one.”
Yes. We’re together and I will make sure it stays that way.